Desires of Couples Before Getting Engaged

Here are the essential steps that you and your partner should take before you start thinking about taking the next big step in your relationship.

Desires of Couples Before Getting Engaged



Commitment is a significant milestone in one's life. It signals that you and your partner have found your perfect match and are planning for your future together. While getting engaged is a joyful experience, couples should not overlook the key aspects of love and compatibility before making this lifelong commitment. We sought advice from Racine R. Henry, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family counselor, to discover how couples can strengthen their relationship bonds before entering into marriage.

Racine, a licensed marriage and family therapist, offers the following guidance:

Discuss and agree on major life matters


Open and honest communication about critical life issues is essential for you and your partner. These issues may include the number of children you both desire, future living arrangements, your perspectives on marriage, and your expectations of a successful marriage. Engaging in these conversations may lead to asking tough questions, which are crucial to address.

In addition to evaluating life-altering decisions, Henry advises couples to ensure they are on the same page regarding their day-to-day relationship. As per the expert, this includes aspects such as how you intend to spend your quality time, how to handle interactions with family and friends, and what each of you needs to feel content in your marriage.

Cohabitation trial


Henry suggests that couples consider living together before getting engaged. This cohabitation phase offers a glimpse into your future married life. It's an excellent opportunity to explore everyday marriage issues, such as sharing living space, personal grooming habits, and financial management. He emphasizes the importance of evaluating compatibility on these topics, even though some may seem trivial.

Traveling together


Traveling as a couple provides an exceptional opportunity to assess your compatibility better than when living together. The stress and unique experiences of traveling reveal more personal traits of your partner, allowing you to see their true nature. Therefore, Henry recommends that couples spend leisure time together while dating.

Consult with a certified relationship therapist


Many individuals assume that professional therapy is only for married couples seeking to resolve their marital problems. However, relationship therapy services extend to unmarried couples. During your dating phase, a relationship therapist can provide a valuable perspective on your issues. Although the therapist may not resolve all your relationship problems before marriage, the insights and explanations you receive will help you better understand the issues affecting your relationship. These insights will also teach you how to address your relationship issues in a more effective and distinct manner.

Observe warning signs


The foundation of a successful relationship is built on honesty, trust, and transparency. Deception before engagement could indicate impending relationship breakdown. Lack of honesty and transparency between partners about their desires may lead to infidelity. Another red flag is the failure of both partners to be on the same page regarding marriage or engagement. Unfortunately, getting married or engaged shouldn't involve persuading your partner. Both individuals should be enthusiastic and committed to spending their lives together forever. Moreover, it's crucial to fully understand the commitment and responsibilities associated with marriage.

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